Marianne Geurts

Meditation or milking a cow?

Last week I got the question: As a Solution Focused coach, how did you learn to be mindful?

There are so many ways to learn to be more mindful. Some attend meditation courses, some go to monasteries to meditate for a while, some do yoga, play sport or milk a cow. For years I explored what works for me. Somehow I got the impression that I had to sit on a cushion to become more ‘Zen’. My truth now is that this does not fit to me (or maybe it does, but I have not find the entrance yet…). What appears to be useful is going more slow. Walking slower, talking slower, using the silence in between words, feeling sensations in my whole body, feeling the ground underneath my feet. And especially breathing more, in and out of my deeper belly part. In coaching settings this is my normal state. In daily life, over time, it still is, from time to time a challenge.

But, there is a ‘big but’. I encountered some hurdles on my way. For me it appeared to be necessary to explore my distractions in being fully present. I noticed over time, that I could not walk away from issues out of my past. I became aware that unresolved matters influenced my behavior. They reinforced my fear driven behavior, which distracted me from being fully present and powerful. I realized more and more that I kept on attracting the same frustrating situations over and over, as long as I had not dealt with elements out of my past. ‘Surrender’ to my emotions, speaking out my issues in combination with family constellations have been very much useful.

To accept my vulnerability was really a huge step for me. My loving parents raised me in a very enterprising and practical way. I just could not believe this was really necessary. But well, nowadays I cry more, laugh more, play more, enjoy more. I am much more sensible for life. More vulnerable, but also more powerful. Like a baby that is (still) able to cry and laugh in the same moment.

By the way, scientific research shows a change in our brains when we practice meditation intensively. I assume that my brains will also show a significant difference. There are so many ways to sense more and become more mindful. To me that is really fascinating.

And, by the way, there is a very good TED-talk about this topic: The power of vulnerability from Brené Brown:

Marianne Geurts
October 2014